Becoming

I’ve given myself too easily

Buying into love

at the sight of a smile

But never demanding the return

Of respect, effort or extra mile

I’ve given all I that I am

Without being given one piece

And that fault lies on me

Content now with who I’ve become

I love my friends, my family

And know I don’t need a new someone

I love love and I love peace

I easily see the beauty in others

But it’s time that I see it in me

Blind Faith Gone Wrong

Maybe I shouldn’t have held on so long

Maybe that’s an indicator

Something in me is wrong

But the dreams that were sold

And the lies that were told

Make me question

Everything I thought I have known

So it’s not the heartbreak

That’s lingering

But the blind faith

With which I was believing

That forces me to take a second glance

And realize it was no fairytale romance

And if what felt the realest to me

Was only fake

I now doubt my perspective

In every case

Living

Can we make a way?

Can we benefit the world and others?

Despite the things that lead us astray?

Can we be our best?

And find a cause worthwhile?

Can we stumble past the tests

Yes still go the extra mile?

Can we be faulted?

Yet still be loving and kind?

Can we make a difference?

Despite the words of the unkind?

Go and live

Love and give

Accept and forgive

We’ve only got one life to live.

Memories

Songs bring you back

Memories burn my head every day

Questions linger and haunt

Yet there is nothing you can say

The hard truth was seen

I’d like to forget it

But now all the lies make sense

The picture I resisted

You weren’t the one

Although everything said you were

My best friend now a stranger

What could be worse?

I still have hope

Because I still have my breath

I’ll move on from this nightmare

And treasure what’s left

Safety Net

Words of wisdom wash over me as if they are not there

My pain numbs all the chaos in the air

Doubt shrouds around me building its faithful wall

Protecting me and keeping me from any future potential fall.

I’ll stay in my circle, this safety net now defined. 

Knowing my heart can’t trust another. I’ll enjoy another glass of wine. 

Depression

What are these circumstances

All things I can’t control

The turmoil stirred inside of me

Seems to never want to go

I look all around me for an escape

But see no open doors

Is it something outside or inside of me

That needs to change?

I just don’t know anymore.

I look behind me and feel shame

In front of me and see no hope

So I aimlessly pursue anything

Of pleasure to help me cope.

I’m not sure my faith is right

But without it, I feel lost

I don’t understand the purpose of life

So will chase meaning at any cost.

Some days I find reasons to smile

Those days I must embrace

It just seems so short lived

In this hell hole of a rat race

If Only

If the sun had been tilted 2 degrees to the left that day

If the moon had waxed instead of waned

If the ocean tide hadn’t come up so far

And our eyes didn’t glimpse that shooting star

Maybe we wouldn’t have intertwined

Maybe your soul wouldn’t be forever stuck to mine

Maybe our lives would be on a different path

And we’d never have known this inexplicable grasp.

But the sun did shine where it stood

The moon overlooked the night as it should

The tide rolled in the ocean waves

The stars put on a glorious display

With just enough light to capture your gaze

The stage was set for our toxic embrace.

Our Home

I saw gaping holes in the walls of our home

Where wind and water came through

The wind would howl, the curtains blow

Yet there was nothing I could do

Our hands were not skilled for this

The damages beyond our scope

When attempting to fix this on our own

We began to lose all hope

Still, we worked day and night

Patching where we could

Eliciting help from others

From anyone who would

But the storms kept coming

Faster than the repairs were made

Ready to give up, we admitted defeat

Bowed our heads and walked away.

Freed

Freed, freed, finally freed

From your hold, control and deceit

Freed, freed, finally freed

From your illusions, false conclusions

And mislead

My pride took a hit

But my heart is doing flips

At the glimpse of a life without your weight

My mind still needs some healing

From your actions so revealing

But in this newfound freedom, I’ll celebrate